Give Me All Of My Apostrophes Angels

by Bucky Fereke & The Pony Express

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about

(C) & (P) 2013 Happy Enchilada Records, Inc. and 75BUNNIES Media (ASCAP) All rights reserved.

All songs written and performed by Bucky Fereke. Recorded, engineered, mixed, mastered & produced by Bucky Fereke at Bluegrasshopper Studios in Lowell, MA. Illustration and design by Dave Coscia.

This album is dedicated to the memory of Rosa, our large blonde husky/lab mix who would sit down and blink at me whenever I would pick up my guitar and sing—and to my beautiful wife Michelle

Thank you to anyone who encourages or
inspires me to continue making music.

credits

released December 30, 2012

Intro vocals on “Saturn’s Rings” by our dog Jack.
Percussion on “Blue Quarters” by our horse Elijah.

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Bucky Fereke & The Pony Express Lowell, Massachusetts

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Track Name: High Horse
On those outback roads I admire when stoned kickin’ back by the police station tryin’ to find me a new revelation while I burn, burn, burn. But your backhand slap in that old Ford van nearly sealed the confirmation. I’m not gonna be just a phase, hon, so expect me to stick around. Oh, but lately things don’t pay right dear and them rich folks they don’t live around here, but let me make myself perfectly clear:

I said hey now, I know I’m not stuck in Lowell but you’re sitting there on your HIGH HORSE tryin’ to turn the party out and I said hey now, I won’t fall from the sky like a dead bird ‘cause I’ll die before I go back to Medford while you turn my world around.

Well it’s been 15 years, five months and 15 days since we slept at the Greyhound station with the skateboard kids and the hipsters. Why’d we turn, turn, turn? But them subways signs and the TV lies sometimes all they can do is create fear. If you got enough space on your plate dear, oh, the good will come around. Oh, but times were tough so we filed our tears and your Mom didn’t like me much dear, but, let me make myself perfectly clear...

I’m all alone 3,000 miles from home and the west coast ain’t much without you. The sunshine can’t seem to break through dark clouds above my head. And we wore out gears on that Taurus, dear. Now I’m not on tour and it’s just me. We’ll see better days, just trust me. We’re gonna make it through this somehow...
Track Name: Post
“I’m alone,” she said, that’s why she slept on the floor and called out your name three or four times in the morning as I lay there weepin’ and thought about sleepin’ again as she reached for the door. Oh, loneliness can tear you apart at the seams and we were so in it, it seemed. It was the last thing that I ever wanted, but you can’t reverse nothin’ after she signed at the desk.

Oh, I remember it: it was a slow day, it was a Sunday and we were out and we parked our car, we fought them off and in the morning you were gone. So put on your blue shoes and we’ll dance for two ‘cause no one needs uplifting anymore than you. I just couldn’t bear for us to be more than two and so it all went away with the storm.

“I’m a bore,” she said, that’s why she cried in my arms and carved out that word in her arm. I fought it off, just like I wanted, but she kept on knockin’, it seemed like the repo man’s work. “I’m a jerk,” I said, “and you can do better than me ‘cause see, I made you feel ugly.” And if that ain’t a sign that we should part, but we still lay there naked as spectators gazed from above.

Oh, yeah, there was love but it was too young to bring it forward and move it on. So we parted ways one of those weekend days and in the morning, you were gone.

So put on your blue shoes and we’ll dance for two ‘cause no one needs uplifting any more than you and we’ll sing with the choir and POST with the crew ‘cause you were all I only could hold.
Track Name: Cut Her Down
Not long after she’s born, they tossed her aside. By an old metal wire to a tree she was tied. But then someone came by so sweet and so kind, pulled the twine out her neck and then saved her life. They’ll run on and say they’ll save by and by, but a shelter that kills ain’t shelter by define. So they packed up and moved up to the east side with friends by her side to start a new life.

He CUT HER DOWN, cut her down. His demons unwound. He cut her down, cut her down, that terrible sound. Cut her down, cut her down, down to the ground in that little blue house in that old mill town.

It wasn’t his fault, he was brought up to cut—to turn like a switch, and not stop ‘till he’s done—in a world run by people that you couldn’t trust except Jack, your friend, and the two of us. It hurts he took someone so smart and so strong. She’d watch from afar, but be there all along. But with a switch of his brain, he shattered that bond. And now we’re all left to mourn that she’s gone...

They went on about the options, but there was none to decide except to sit, ask more questions, bowing our heads to cry. How the hell can you tell your own babies goodbye? You can’t put that on us, we’d do anything to try.

When we turned the door, I first noticed how quiet our lives had become—but it’s still loud inside. I’ll never forget that look in her eyes. I hope that somewhere she’s still living her life...
Track Name: Saturn's Rings
They hide all that happiness brings, and then you helped me find it. Days laced with “rice paper string”, you’d tie it up and bind it.

I know this world is old, but you dusted it off and then it shone. Water falling from the rocks above was once inside everyone of us.

Time passes fast if you blink, and then you’ll never find it. Cut thin just like Saturn’s Rings, wide if you’re above it.

Days passed and months gone by. I saw diamonds orbit in your eyes falling lighter than the whitest snow. It was louder than anything I’ve known. You know it’s all for show, but find the strength to run and let it go. Like a kite tied to a string, dreams will fly if they cut the wind. Easy to forget, it’s been so long, but we’ve been here living all along. A message sparkled from the stars above remind us that we are all in love.

They hide all that happiness brings, and then you helped me find it.

“Seen from Earth, the Milky Way is a broad band of light married to the night sky.”
Track Name: Don't Piss On My Leg (And Tell Me It's Raining)
Since the day we first met, I loved you so much. I thought we’d run on like an old diesel truck. But the nagging and the tears have worn on my health. I’ll focus on me, you go off with yourself.

Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining. I’ve done all that I can, I’m tired of waiting. I’m fed up with your lies, I’m sick of complaining. Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining!

I’ve done all that I can, I struggled and tried. But the last star has dulled, I’m weak and I’m tired. I’m sure you’ll hang out with your friends again while I’m watchin’ our baby asleep in the den...

The dinner is cold, our kids are a mess. I’m sneezin’ and haven’t heard one damn ‘god bless’. If it weren’t for the kids—I’m sorry to say­—I’d pack up and go back to my old ramblin’ ways...

Now honey, tell me how you think we will be when you focus on you and you don’t care for me. This one-way street has reached its dead end. I just don’t have it in me to hear you lie again...

I came home to find your shoes were all gone. You took off with the children, you split up our home. Now if I outlive you—even just for one day—I’d crawl to your tombstone and piss on your grave!
Track Name: My Time
I can’t fall so late on my time. It’s just another assault on my time tryin’ to talk to you. And if I could go back in time, you know I’d try to escape from your eyes miles away from you.

It’s just the situation has run dry and I’m not gonna be blown away this time and I try to kick back, try to unwind, but I cannot escape the one inside.

And if I saw light in your eyes more than the northern lights shine so bright, I have to forget you...

Restin’ my head, lyin’ in bed, tryin’ to erase every word that you said and I’m not gonna be confused or abused this time.
Track Name: Fall Down
Fall down winter and talk about the summer. Rise up May and walk about in June. But I’m not the one to make you feel good about the weather. I’m not the one to make you feel blue.

Transferred all of your letters and your postcards. Packed up all of my days inside a plane. But I’m not the one who made you feel sad about the ending. I’m not the one who made you lose your cool.

When you fall down, arms wide open, falling deeper to the ocean, will you rise back to the top where angels fear and demons walk? One more checkered day is over. Flip the page up, turn it over. Now you’re resting deep asleep while saints and blue waves steal your dreams.

Throw down all of your dreams and aspirations. Send them all off to float out in the sea. But I’m not the one who’ll complain about that winter wasted. I’m not the one to make you taste that pain.

Slow down time and speed up every heartbeat. Call that number at every working booth. But I’m not the one who made you fall down on your birthday. I am the one who let you see your truth...
Track Name: Triangles
The halls are long as the hair that’s growing out from my face. And these walls are wrong, ‘cause they seem to think that I deserve to stay in this place. And I don’t know what day it is ‘cause I forgot what living is.

The scribbled notes that I’m supposed to follow without intention or blame leave me heavy, hollow and thinking that I might never come out the same. And I don’t know what changing is ‘cause I can’t find my place in this.
They keep me here in this bed, all for what I said.

The group of friends who tempt me again to throw it all away make me sick of circles and TRIANGLES to map out livin’ this way. So put me back the way I’ve been ‘cause my pieces all been wearin’ thin...
Track Name: Refar
REFAR, I know you wanna see me but you know you’re as blind as can be. But still you say it’s gonna work out. Refar, what makes you think it could be when you’re so different from me? But still you say, “Just stay it’ll work out.”

Well, I got time on my hands but no shoes on the ground and it’ll just get worse if you keep hangin’ around. This drive-thru romance is givin’ me the chills ‘cause you just work hard enough to pay your bills. But still you think it’s gonna work out.

Refar, why don’t you listen to me? Just be strong, jump off and be free and you’ll see it’s bound to work out. Refar, why’re you all up in me? I thought you said you should be happy. But still you stay and think it’ll work out.

Just something as pure and simple couldn’t be all mine and this distorted kingdom isn’t good for you now. It might seem off and just a little deranged, but you’ll be reborn if you get on that plane. You’ll see it’s gonna work out.

You say, “Just stand by me, it’ll grow in time”, but you can’t force something if it just ain’t right. The tales of wreckage out from when you’ve been ain’t not too far off from the shape I’m in. Put the headset back. Listen and relax to the voices shouting: “Refar!”...
Track Name: Wedding Bells
Shut up! Pop the top, pour it on rocks. Before you share that thought, take one more shot. It’s different now, but it still figures—the ghost is gone, but the memory lingers. The ray of light from the sun outside and I think it implies that you don’t cross that line. Say goodbye to all your sinners as they slip outside of your little fingers.

So put away the matches before you have your turn. I said put away the matches, ‘cause these WEDDING BELLS won’t burn.

The weekends lost and the freedoms tossed. You said we paid the price, but what was the cost? You’re famous now with all your minions, but this town’s still strong with you not in it. And I could call, but that’s it and that’s all. I don’t like what crawls out when I lower that wall. So slip inside your bleak disguise as I crush out all of your alibis...

You can push me away, but you can’t push me today.
Track Name: Alaska
We were often left behind the times, often left aside. From blue meadows to the mountains to the ones who’re still alive. We were simply all around ourselves fighting to survive. Though the many stranded people off and died.

But I’ll never let you go that road again and I’ll never let you be my only friend.

From the city left behind ourselves, slowly dimming lights, we eventually discovered other ways to see the light. From the others watching rapidly, staring through our eyes, they would try to keep us down to make them high...

...I will never let my mind subside to resting on your lies. Just to have you turn around and stab me more than once or twice. The attire that you hide behind will slowly wilt and die. Shed your skin, next of kin, I’ll be waiting by the side.

The charades and games and fits of rage that rip at your insides—that has worked when we were children, but won’t pass this far in life. I’d like to think we meet at points and cross like X and Y, but we seem to mostly ride on parallel lines.

How much longer can you hide behind? How long will you lie? You have blinded all the lost ones that look up to you admired. Not one of your friends showed up that night and I am not surprised. It must kill you inside to apologize.
Track Name: Long Run
Well, I’m tired and I’ve fallen and I ain’t got much to say except the ends are getting shorter day by day. And I spend my time and money figurin’ who I’m gonna pay. They got me wonderin’ if I’m Able or I’m Cain.
I had my share of people tell me, “Get up off that train,” but I’m holdin’ on to see what next awaits.

Oh, but time’s got a way of eatin’ at our brains.
Hey, well, it’s a long run...

Shine your shoes and grab your hat. Step right up, sir, so they can shoot you down in seconds flat. No mama ever gave no birth to a boy or girl to live a life like that. So you wave your fist at fate and you figure life is better off without them anyway. But it’s lonely and I told you, boy, someday you’ll have to face this life awake.

Well, I’ve been down and I’ve been on’ry & I’ve felt my blood as pain. It ain’t human if your life don’t wax and wane. And it took me lots of searchin’ to see the forest for the trees from the streets of California up to Maine.

Now there aint no speedin’ limit, but which exit should you take? Well, that’s the price of rollin’ down that lost highway.
Oh, but time’s got a way of easin’ all our pain...
Track Name: Blue Quarters
I got some BLUE QUARTERS sittin’ in my hand. I’d like to take you to the movies, dear, but they’re all goin’ to the man. I’d free out all my money, spend it on you if I can. But I got blue, blue quarters.

It seems in the past that we got by by savings or checks or tryin’ to try. But lately it feels like I’m fallin’ inside ‘cause the wolves are at the door and they’re startin’ to bite. We used to make it work from check to check, but as soon as we get one now we just give it on back. The prospect of livin’ stable is looking pretty bleak. Our ends are strangers now for they rarely meet.

I got some blue quarters and I’m not sure what they’re worth. I bunch them all together and buy some fuel to drive to work. And if I make it home tonight, I’ll be tired and act like a jerk ‘cause I got blue, blue quarters.
Track Name: I'm For You
All my friends say you’re my new best thing, but I can’t complain or entertain it’s true. Girls like you deserve a diamond ring—one that gleams like bright white teeth. When you dance, you are an awkward star—one that shines right through my sly remarks. I know you and I will go real far ‘cause you’ve always shown me what you are. I’m for you.

You connect with every living thing—the love you give, the joy you bring to me. It’s a fraction of your everything and I’m so glad you clicked with me. You bring sparks just like the Fourth of July, still you stay as cool as your blue eyes. I know what we have can never die ‘cause we revive and stay alive...

Maybe I’ve been taking much too long, it’s true. But don’t forget, it’s laid in cement that I love you.

I see our future and it’s very bright: your prize at “X”, me on the mic. Dreams will happen if we’re side by side—so sit back, relax, enjoy this ride. Drop your bags and stay around for a while, and we don’t need fire ‘cause we have your smile. All I know is we will be all right, even though all I see is light...
Track Name: Neighbors
When the Earth was pretty awful I would see you casting stones onto children of disciples that had nowhere else to roam. But I saved you from the gallows. I took you in and gave you warmth but then you struck me and left me dying in the shadow of our home.

How forsaken! I’m mistaken to have thought you’d grow a soul. Then we both lay in a cell, dear. Yours was prison—mine, the ground.

Years have passed, dear. Stones have traveled, ice caps melted, wars were fought. Someone needed a drink of water: a lonely soldier hurt and lost. He met a maiden and they made babies and we traveled through their veins. Back together, sister/brother, to make peace with our old remains.

How forsaken! I’m mistaken to have thought you’d grow a soul. You left your brother alone and dying at the moment he needed you most.

Years have passed, dear. The Sun lay dying. It expanded to fill the void. She burned her planets, her last companions. Miss Red Giant called her children home.

Now we sit here in a vacuum waiting for some dust and light to start again, dear, to create life and make things all right between you and I.